So I moved into a new apartment last week which has amassed quite the collection of random kitchen appliances over the years. Then yesterday, I made a life-changing discovery: I have all the ingredients to make a smoothie and a blender. That doesn’t just happen every day, so I did what one does when they find themselves in such a situation… I made a smoothie.
Materials & Methods
I measured out the ingredients with the latest state of the art technologies:
- 1 handful of mixed greens (spinach, chard, kale, dandelions )
- 1 avocado (minus however much I ate before hand, don’t remember)
- 1 pour of coconut milk (that thing happened where you start pouring really slowly and nothing comes out and you start tipping the can more and more because nothing is coming out and then, all of a sudden, the whole fucking can dumps itself out all at once)
- 3 strawberries
- half of a roommate’s banana (not sure which roommate… was going to to go bad anyways)
- 1 spoonful of honey
- 1 heaping spoonful of gelatanized maca powder
- a splash of Brooklyn tap water (apparently it makes good pizza, why not good smoothies?)
Then blended it.
- Texture: Somewhere between “goopy” and “industrial sludge”
- Color: Barf
- Amount: Too much
- Taste: Pretty fucking delicious, possibly a bit sweet. More greens and less coconut milk next time
- Nutrition: Way too many carbs, but probably healthy-ish nonetheless
Not bad for a first try, but ample room for improvement. Will likely be opening smoothie bar soon.
After struggling through an entire cup I will add that there is indeed way too much sugar, not enough bitterness or protein, and it would better cold and with a straw. Preparing for impending food coma.